I wrote this in 10 minutes for a job application

…along with a thousand other applicants for a position that was already once reposted. I don’t think the company was being truly sincere about their hiring intentions, but whatever. The assignment was to write (and sell) any health topic you’d like. So, I wrote this in 10 minutes.


Because Runners Are Sexy

Here’s the situation: I’m an OK-looking dude. I’m certainly not Brad Pitt at his peak in Fight Club, but maybe I could sneak by as a working man’s Edward Norton. Regardless, I run eight miles five days a week, and I’m the sexiest person alive during those unofficial marathons. Why?

Because runners are sexy.

Have you ever seen a runner who you didn’t find at least a little attractive? Exactly.

Women ogle at me. I’ve been tracked, catcalled, and contacted on dating sites by local women who have recognized me from my runs. That’s not sweat dripping down my body; it’s sex appeal.

Men idolize me. They seek my advice and seem to think I’m some wise alpha who can bestow upon them the secrets of all that is right in the world. Those aren’t tan lines on my shoulders; they’re sun tattoos.     

Dogs want to ditch their out-of-shape owners to join me on my fun runs. But honestly, I seem to have that effect on dogs wherever I go, so, ya know…whatever.  

When I run, I turn into an unstoppable iron horse that’s drenched in awesome…and you can, too!

I began running on a treadmill. Three miles was typically my maximum distance, and that was good enough for me.

“Just good enough,” however, isn’t good enough. Not if you want to turn heads.

When my gym closed, I started experimenting with street running, and that’s when I really turned this bland exercise into a passion.

I started small; one-mile runs for a week, then two-mile runs, then three-mile runs. As I built strength and endurance, I began to push myself farther and farther, one mile at a time.

Four miles, five miles.

It hurt in the beginning. Oh, did it hurt. I would struggle to run on back-to-back days due to the pain. But I kept at it. I persevered.

Six miles.

My steps on run days eclipsed 20,000 without much extra effort. Burning more than 1,000 calories from exercise alone was guaranteed.

Seven miles.

In good time, back-to-back run days became normal. I even started running on three consecutive days because we all need a little mayhem in our lives.

Eight miles.

The physical, mental, and emotional benefits of running are truly empowering. Exhausting? Absolutely. But when you train your body to handle that level of physical activity, you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish. And you know what else? People will notice. Why?

Because runners are sexy.