Millennial Demands Lower Salary Because She Thinks She Makes Too Much Money

SAN FRANCISCO – A financially sound millennial is making headlines with complaints that her job pays her too much money — and now she is demanding a pay cut.

Liberty Freedom, a 33-year-old customer service representative, makes approximately $150,000 working for Google, plus an additional $20,000 in potential performance bonuses. However, Freedom believes she is severely overpaid and has had enough.

“I give Google the best years of my life and they repay me by paying me too much,” complained Freedom. “How am I supposed to become a prototypically struggling millennial if I’m making too much money?”

Jasmine Cormine, Freedom’s manager, says that the aspiring debtor tries to negotiate a salary decrease at least once a week.

“Sometimes twice,” Cormine said. “Honestly, I think she’s on crack.”

Freedom believes she should be making at least 30% less than what she makes now, and annual performance reviews should come with a mandatory salary cut.

“I just think it’s only fair that I make what I deserve,” said Freedom. “I’m being paid too much money and this discrimination needs to stop.”

Google says Freedom quit her job after her request for a pay decrease was denied for the 104th time.

Note: I do not write for the Onion, but I like to pretend that I do.