Angry Man Sues In-N-Out For Making Their Food Too Tasty

SACRAMENTO – A local man is taking matters into his own hands to combat what he refers to as the “growing epidemic” of fast food tasting too good.

Porter Thompson, 33, has gained 60 pounds since moving to Sacramento last fall, a gain that he says is a result of fast food restaurants purposely making their food taste delicious.

He specifically singled out the famous burger chain In-N-Out for catering to people who enjoy a good wholesome meal.

“It’s almost like they want us to keep coming back for more,” said Thompson as he chowed down on a Double-Double with Animal Style fries. “These fast food restaurants need to learn that their food is too good and this needs to stop.”

Thompson frequents his local In-N-Out at least five times a week while also dining at McDonald’s, Burger King, and Denny’s. He says each of the chains bears some responsibility in the growing epidemic and plans to take his fight to the California State Senate.

“Burger King is creating an army of Whopper Warriors while McDonald’s is recruiting for their battalion of McMusketeers,” proclaimed Thompson. “But In-N-Out…that’s what a hamburger’s all about.”

When asked how to end the epidemic, Thompson got straight to the point.

“I need a reason not to eat this food, and making it disgusting is the only possible way I can see that happening.”

A call to In-N-Out was not immediately returned and it appears our number was blocked.

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